How To Get Over Him - Quickly

Let me make one thing clear: this has nothing to do with love.

I'm no expert. The very word makes me nauseous and sets my body to a defensive mode. But I have had my heart broken once or twice. Badly. By some pathetic loser by the way who, in my blissful juvenile ignorance, contained my whole world: my oxygen, my insides, my reason for being without whom I'd wither and die to nothingness blah, blah.

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Somebody should have whacked me across the head with a Dr. Phil self-help bestseller in hard cover - it may have been enough to cause selective amnesia. But no, I have had to endure many, many self-inflicted humiliations the magnitude of which almost surpasses George W. Bush's abundant stream of faux pas, which I suspect include nuking someone's ticker.

With no access to a warhead, however, to deploy my heart's retribution, I resorted to good old fashioned emotional meltdown that rivaled Chernobyl. Not only have I said and done it all in the name of witless love - things I loathe to enumerate lest the wrath of Virginia Woolf strikes me dead - I have listened excruciatingly to my girlfriends and their hearts' lament on losing Mr. Loser, er, Mr. Right. And the twisted plot to get him back.

What I bemoan most of all is that not one good sista gave it to me straight. That I will change.

So, if a looming break-up is coming your way (trust me, we can all see it coming!), read, learn and gain wisdom from the mistakes of others because you don't want to make them all!

For the ladies who have been-there-done-that and, hopefully, out of the singles jungle, enjoying the safety and comfort of Tarzan's little love-nest high up on the treetops, be a real friend and show the girls how it's done.

Delete, delete, delete ... all traces of your ex.

If your memory is better than mine, there are two phone numbers you know by heart: your mum's and your ex's. In your quest to "get over him", first, delete him from your digital memory store starting with your mobile phone. Erase his mobile number, work phone, home phone, his best friend's number, his mother's number - especially!

If you're an IM user, block him immediately and blacklist his email address from your mailbox.

Then remove every piece of clothing, toiletry and dirty underwear he left behind in your bathroom. And no, don't even think of washing and neatly packaging these into a bundle for him. The concierge has closed and will not be re-opening. Ever.

Whatever you do, DO NOT call him.

It's pathetic, really. What are you hoping to accomplish? No, you won't get him back because he's not coming back. The bottom line is if he dumped you, he's not into you. Sound familiar? The word on the street is true and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

OK, so there are those lucky people that get back together and live happily ever after.

In the movies!

If you're living in the same world as I, you know it's the exception, not the rule. Sadly, most women seem to think, to their detriment, that their situation is somehow always an exception: as if they live in a parallel reality where the rules of engagement do not apply because for some unknown and far-imagined reason, many are under the illusion that they're immune to life's cruel veracity. Well, you're not. The rule of life rules, unless the odd exception, freak-of-nature type event occurs. And it rarely happens. The sooner you realise that, the better.

So, in your moment of pathetic weakness, it's completely understandable and even acceptable to max out your credit card for much needed retail therapy. Even indulge in uncharacteristically obscene behaviour including binge-drinking, a drunken pash or two with complete strangers, or hysterical emotional outbursts in embarrassingly crowded places. Just make sure you're in the company of people who give a damn about you - your friends.

Scream. Cry. Laugh. Do whatever it takes to flush him out of your system. But for goodness' sake, do not call your ex.

Should I return the gold watch he gave me?
Are you kidding me? It's yours. Keep it. Or better yet, take all the valuable items he's ever given you to cash converters - the gold necklace for your birthday, the beautiful pair of earrings last Christmas and that gorgeous bracelet for Valentine's Day. Then buy yourself a new pair of Jimmy Choos. It will elevate your height as well as your mood.

Turning his precious little gifts, which are rightfully yours, into cold hard cash will satisfy a scorned woman's desire for sweet revenge. Albeit briefly. But who cares? Right now, little victories are what you need to get you over the line. And over him.

Let's be friends? Yeah, right!
Oh, please! If you are insisting on remaining friends with an ex who dumped you like vomit, you're up o something and it won't do you any good.

Problem is, you can't see it. So let me make it clearer for you: he's not coming back.

Wake up and smell the stench. You're standing on a gigantic pile of horseshit collected over the years starting from the time you believed in the myth of Cinderella. Didn't you know? She divorced her prince two months later: they weren't compatible after all.

So, think long and hard about your real motivations. Life is good but it ain't a fairytale.

If he's the one wanting to remain friends, well, beware. Remember, he dumped you. So it's neither an invitation for renewed romance nor for any kind of "real" friendship you want or need right now.

Let me tell you a little secret. Most guys, unfortunately, are cowards. They are scared to death of hurting our feelings because we all go "emotional on them!. They will do anything to weasel their way out of very difficult situations. The fact is, if he wants you, and I mean want-you-so-badly-it-hurts, there are no mixed messages. He will move heaven and earth to be with you. If he's not in to you, the only thing he'll move is his thumb: "want 2 come over 2nite?"

Need I say more?

Get a life ... darn good one!
The sweetest revenge is to live a happy life. And it's the only way to live.

But first, change your sheets.

Call your friends. Dance around the house in your underwear or naked if you prefer. Attend a party. Drink good champagne. Wear amazingly red lipstick. Strut around in ridiculously high stilettos. Visit your hairdresser.

Smile.

Chat up a good looking guy at a funky bar. Wear perfume. Flirt. Play games and play it cool. This time, you're the predator, not the prey. Take a risk.

You're so sexy. Who wouldn't want you?

And if you're still weary of rejoining the singles jungle, here's a tip: run an ad for a male flatmate. You may be surprised at what you'll find. Tarzan might just come knocking at your door.

Live life. It's the only one you've got.

Robelen Bajar is a freelance writer with a Mr. Strong Man who's so in to her.

How To Get Over Him - Quickly

Robelen Bajar is a marketing professional and a freelance writer based in Melbourne Australia. She has a bachelor's degree in International Business/Marketing and a master's in Business Communication. Robelen writes features and commentaries on her favorite subject "Gen-X Women" for print and online magazines.

Visit Robelen's blog at http://www.robelenbajar.com

Copyright © 2006 Robelen Bajar. All Rights Reserved. Newsletter, magazine and other publishers of online and offline content are welcome to reprint this article provided it is published in its entirety, without change, including contact and copyright information. Please send an email to robelen@robelenbajar.com advising the publication's name & URL, and the date the article appeared.

How to Get a Girl's Number - Proven Methods to Quickly and Easily Get Her Real Phone Number

After a certain point in the conversation, you're going to need to get a girl's number in order to build that bridge and get to the next level. This can be done in as early as one minute of a cold approach if you have your game together.

Ideally, you're going to want at least five to twenty minutes to learn enough about the girl to consider whether she's worth pursuing or not. This is only a general guideline to avoid getting a fake number, but depending on the situation, you might need to break this rule. Things might be going really well and you'll want to keep going with it. Use your own judgment.

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To get a girls number, timing is important. Ask for it too soon and girls might feel uncomfortable giving it out (or you might just get a fake number). Wait for too many days and girls might start to think of you as just a friend, or even worse, a guy who is afraid to go after what he wants.

So, when and how do you get a girls number?

Well, it goes without say that you FIRST need to build a certain level of attraction. She's not going to give her number out to just anyone. How was your opener? Are you sporting your best gear? What about your body language? How does your voice sound? Do you feel confident? Relaxed? A little nervousness is fine, but try to keep it inside. What's her body language telling you? Does she look interested in you or is she standing there with her arms crossed and eyes wandering.

Attraction can be built instantly by making a good first impression. But you're going to want build some rapport with her as well. Attraction is not enough to get a girls number since she also needs to feel comfortable enough around you. So you want to build some rapport by finding commonalities. Ask her questions, open-ended questions are best but do NOT interrogate her. Try to put the spotlight on her more than yourself. Steer the conversation towards her interests, passions, etc.

After you feel like the conversation is going well, it's time to get her number.

How To Get A Girls Number

Getting a girls number really isn't that hard. It's only hard if you think it is. The attraction and rapport building that comes before the number exchange really is the key here. HOW you ask is also important, but if there's no attraction and rapport beforehand, you're not going to get her real number no matter how you ask. Of course, there is a right way and a wrong way to get her number.

The most important thing that I can say about asking for her number is ASSUME SUCCESS. Never "ask" if you can have her phone number. If there is any doubt in your voice tone or if your questions ends on a rising tone (like the tone of "OK?"), she will hesitate. Girls know a predator when they see one and if you're unsure of asking her for her number, she's unsure of giving it to you.

Instead, your voice should sound authoritative, already expecting the "yes." What I usually do is ask her for her number as I'm already programming her name into my cell phone. Basically, I will be asking her "What's your number?" as I'm looking down at my cell already entering her name into my contacts. This makes her feel that you're not a needy little boy who's going to call her ten times every day.

Here's another technique that works great. At some point in the conversation, preferably at a time when she's laughing and enjoying herself, tell her "Hey, I gotta get going. I got some things I gotta take care of." Then, just as I'm about to leave, I will turn to her and say "hey, do you have email?" Clearly, she has an email address so she will say "yes." Then I would pull out a pen and piece of paper and say "Good. Write your email down here." As she's writing her email address, I nonchalantly say "you might as well put your phone number there too."

This works for several reasons:

1) You're not making a big deal out of the number exchange so she won't feel that her sense of freedom is threatened.

2) By ending the conversation first, you're showing her that you are busy and have a life. If you built some attraction and rapport, ending the conversation first can be very powerful. Women, especially beautiful women, are not used to this. This helps reverse the gender roles and has the woman chasing you.

3) Telling her you "got some things to take care of" gives you a mysterious persona. This will make her more curious about you.

4) By asking her "Do you have email?" and by getting her to say "yes," she is already unconsciously making a commitment to you to give you her email address, even though you did not directly ask for it. It's a powerful little persuasion technique used in marketing.

On a side note, some guys feel more comfortable contacting a girl by email. Really, it's up to you. The one thing I'd like to say about this is communicating by phone rather than email saves a lot of time and moves things forward so much faster. You can end up wasting a lot of time, emailing each other back and forth. Practice using your voice instead. In the long run, you will learn a lot more about communicating with women by practicing real life phone conversations. Save the emailing for the online dating sites, if possible.

How to Get a Girl's Number - Proven Methods to Quickly and Easily Get Her Real Phone Number

Luke Victor is internationally known for his no B.S. approach to helping men achieve phenomenal success with women and relationships. He has earned the trust of thousands of men with his methods of attracting quality women, and techniques for giving women incredible pleasure in bed.

To learn more about how to attract a woman, or to download a free eBook go to the Modern Man's guide to picking up women.